Free weekly newsletter for caregivers navigating brain injury, CTE, dementia, Parkinson's, and PTSD. Real information. Peer-reviewed. From people who've been where you are.
The packages he doesn't remember ordering
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ROBBINS NEST ALLIANCE NEWSLETTER — ISSUE 7 FROM THE NEST ROB'S CORNER A few years ago, a Carvana truck pulled up in front of our house and dropped off a car. I had bought it the night before. Online. I do not remember doing it. I thought I was just looking at whether we qualified. Apparently I did more than look. It was a nice car. Too nice. Not a car we needed or could afford. But there it was in the driveway, fully delivered, while I stood there with no memory of purchasing it. That one was hard to explain. --- HEATHER'S TRANSLATION The car is the story I tell when people ask what impulse control looks like in someone with cognitive decline. But honestly, the car was just the loudest version of something that happens constantly. Right now we have more golf mats than I can count. One in the TV room. Several on the patio. One in the garage, next to the car. One in front of the toilet so he can putt while he handles his business. Each time a new one arrives, he explains patiently that this one is different. This one has a velvet top. This one shows him where his swing is going. This one he definitely needs. We also currently have a refrigerator full of sprouts. He keeps ordering them delivered because he wants them, then forgetting he already ordered them, then ordering more. He does not actually eat sprouts. He is not even sure he likes them. But the word sprouts is accessible right now and the button is right there. I live in the Amazon return line. Camping gear, climbing equipment, yard tools for a yard we do not maintain, kitchen gadgets for a kitchen I cook in alone. He buys them in the confident belief that we are the kind of people who will use them. We are not those people. We have never been those people. What I have learned, slowly and not always gracefully, is that the part of his brain that connects a decision to its consequences, that tracks what was already purchased, that evaluates whether something is needed, that part is not working the way it used to. He is making the only choices available to him with the cognitive equipment he has right now. That reframe does not make the sprouts disappear. But it changes how I respond when the next box arrives. --- ONE THING WORTH KNOWING Impulsive purchasing and repetitive buying are documented behavioral symptoms of cognitive decline, dementia, and CTE. They are not personality flaws or financial irresponsibility. The frontal lobes govern impulse control, judgment, and the ability to anticipate consequences. As dementia and neurodegenerative conditions progress, frontal lobe function is frequently affected. Research published in Scientific Reports found that elevated impulsivity is closely correlated with measurable cognitive decline across memory, executive function, and processing speed. A separate review published in Alzheimer's and Dementia: Translational Research found that new-onset impulse dyscontrol in later life is now considered a potential early marker of dementia, tracked under a pre-dementia syndrome called Mild Behavioral Impairment. In Parkinson's disease specifically, impulse control disorders are documented as a non-motor symptom affecting a significant percentage of patients, linked to frontal and dopaminergic system changes. Online shopping platforms make this harder, not easier. One-click purchasing removes almost every friction point that might otherwise slow down an impulsive decision. If this is happening in your household, it is worth discussing with your person's neurologist and flagging with their financial institution. Many banks offer voluntary spending alerts or limits for account holders with cognitive conditions. --- ONE RESOURCE The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has a free guide specifically for people with cognitive decline and their caregivers covering financial safety, how to set up oversight without removing autonomy, and what to do when purchases have already been made. Find it at: consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/managing-someone-elses-money/ --- FROM THE NEST The sprouts are still in the refrigerator. I am going to make soup. If something in this issue sounded familiar, you are not alone and you are not failing. You are caregiving inside a condition that is doing exactly what the research says it does. We will be back next Wednesday. Heather Robbins Nest Alliance robbinsnestalliance.com 501(c)(3) Nonprofit | EIN: 39-2763662 --- |
Heather at Robbins Nest Alliance
Free weekly newsletter for caregivers navigating brain injury, CTE, dementia, Parkinson's, and PTSD. Real information. Peer-reviewed. From people who've been where you are.
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